Concerning Matters of the Luftmensch Heart

When one is young and vibrant, love seems so confused. There are so many questions; so many possibilities for the future; everything is so uncertain. When does one know when one finds one's true love? When does one know who the "right" one is? It is such a trivial subject, and I am such a luftmensch to bring it up; but what if you were just going along in your life, and all of a sudden, someone walks in and ruins it all? Now your life is almost centered around this person and you try to shove it off. Surprisingly, very surprisingly, you keep finding things that fit perfectly into your ideal. Random things- things like how he talks and certain words he uses in his speaking to you, and maybe who his favorite composer is. Then things like his hobbies and interests; and most importantly, his values! How he treats people, how he just loves everyone. He's so good, better than you, and he actually likes the way you do things. And then, to be entirely superficial, he's very attractive; kind of like the cherry on top. He really seems perfect. Perfect, except for only one thing- the most vital thing- the aspect that makes you wonder: "Why is it, that he doesn't have this???" because it fits perfectly with everything else! It's like a puzzle piece that completes the picture exactly- same colors, shape, size...all that is wrong is the fact that there is one peg that doesn't match the hole. How can that even work??? How is that possible??? And it is simply vital, so you don't even know what to do about it. And nothing, I repeat, nothing can happen if this aspect is missing!
It is all very vexing, of course, but there is more. There aren't very many chances to talk to him, so the fact that you really, really want to get to know him better happens to become the seldom and precious moments that you long for every minute of everyday. Anticipation is so ridiculously hard to endure.
SO, how does one know if one has found the "right" one yet? I have no idea, because it always seems like the "right" one at the moment, and yet, when you are so sure about it, the whole world goes topsy turvy again.

Autumn Abstractions

Wow, I haven't posted a blog in quite a while! Being the luftmensch that I am, I suppose I've just kept everything in my head.

It's a beautiful October day with a bit of cloud cover and a chill breeze. The ground is scattered with dried and sundry leaves making the tree branches nearly bare. The grass is still green, creating a contrast of colors that is most appealing to the eye. Mom has uncovered and dusted the Halloween decorations and little pumpkin lanterns sway on their hooks. Scents of Patchouli and Licorice hang in the air and the spicy sensation of apple crisp wafts in my direction. It is Fall Break and my mind seems to be slightly detached; captured entirely by these striking details.

Summer Days

I sit here to contemplate; it's what I like to do usually. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the breeze is subtle and refreshing, and there is a clean scent of wildflowers and cotton trees wafting through the air. It's all quite stimulating to my entire library of senses.

Stream of Consciousness? Hmmm:
It rained today, for only a few minutes. I love rain, it never rains enough. If only I could live in England- with my sister. There are such beautiful roses there. I love Turkish delight- it is utterly delightful. I wonder what it would be like to live in Turkey; it's probably really hot. Trench warfare in Turkey in world war one was brutally hot and altogether ineffective- come to think of it. Gallipoli was a total disaster on the side of the Allies. Mel Gibson was a really fast runner in that movie- too bad he wasn't fast enough. Kevin Williams would outrun him any day; he's going to be a world champion for sure! I wish I could run that fast- but flying would be better. I would love to own my own airplane- ah, but if I had wings! I would fly all over the world! How I would love to travel everywhere and see everything from the bird's point of view! How exhilarating! And have the wind go through my hair and to glide so smoothly through the forests and over the seas and diverse terrains! Oh how I miss Africa! Those days of travel and adventure were more than thrilling to all of my senses. How Dad loved us all. I wonder what he might have said to me today- it's an interesting thought. He would wake me in the morning, and we would read the scriptures. He would not carry me down the hall like he used to, but he might reprimand me for making everyone wait. I miss that meaningful but kind scolding. If only it would rain.

Waves roll and beat upon the shore like life
Is rough upon the soul and boats are tossed
In ruthless storms. How withering is strife:
So bold and binding, hence my heart is lost
Among those waves and hope seems far away.
Though when a lighthouse--distantly--I see
What stands to show me happiness: a ray
That pierces through the clouds and strengthens me.
The storm is cleared and truth I find within
Myself: that life without the laughter rends
All vital to oblivion. The din--
While those rushing waves I hear now soothe--ends
My fear. And though some times I must endure,
I'm blessed with joy, such heavenly grandeur!

Sherilyn