Eight months ago, my thoughts were composed entirely of term paper topics, test materials, grades, homework, extracurricular activities, and college applications. Then May 22nd came up much sooner than my internal calendar said it should, and I found myself packing a box containing my high school diploma. Three days later that box and ten others of similar size were placed in the basement of a very large house in West Virginia. I had to re-tape most of them to ensure that they were bug-proof. An act proven unnecessary in the dry and lovely state of Colorado. Three weeks and nine very long hours later, with disheveled hair, I stepped off a train at Penn Station, NY with one suitcase and a red shoulder bag.
Now, as I inhabit 210 101st St., my thoughts are filled with the concerns of a parent, for in several ways, I have to act as one. And when they are not, or rather when I do not take on the parental role, I, usually alone, explore the expansive and dynamic realm of New York City.
The occasion never ceases to surprise me, that I grow up more than I ever have, in an exceedingly short amount of time. It reminds me that time is not so relevant. Time is not eternal; time is temporal. I don't know how old I am. And how absurd is that?
I only know that I am who I am. I am me. I am Sherilyn- I grow and I learn and I experience. To sum it up, I am a daughter of God. I rather like thinking in terms of God's time, rather, no time. It helps me to recognize the difference between careless cares and rejected priorities. Time is given to men so they have something -oddly enough- intangible to hold on to.
And I like Time, too. When I'm smart, we get along really well. In fact, life is often a race. Time is always there, knocking on my door and wanting to play. I only accept the invite because I know the knocking would get to me if I didn't let him in. So I embrace our playtime. I win most of the games- or I claim to -and I shrug when I lose. We people need a breather every now and then; Time doesn't believe in breathing. Time just goes. I'd like to know how his mind works. During some of his games it seems like he is actually giving in to my little inquests concerning coconut milk and a bathing suit. Nevertheless, what an interesting and steadfast character he is, Time.
So I've grown up. But I'm still a little girl. I will never doubt nor retract that. And part of maturity is knowing when to let the little girl inside loose and when to embrace seriousness; it is controlling all the various emotions within and knowing where and when to focus those emotions- on the self? or on others? and which others? well, all. Until marriage. Marriage complicates things. Time and I haven't gotten to that game on the shelf yet, thankfully. I won't jump ahead. No, instead, I want to play the game called, College, but Time is a bit reluctant on that one. In fact, if we're talking maturity, I've been ready to play College since Time started the Senior Year of High School game with me. Well, I'm not a sore loser, so I'll be patient and let time win that argument; thus we're playing The Last Summer Before What People Call Real Life Begins. It's not so bad. In fact, I quite like it. It just goes to show that you can be happy in any situation. And, Time is pretty smart too. I'm glad Time was smart enough to know I would like this game. In fact, I'm really glad we pulled this one off the shelf.
And we all know that Time is in on God's Plans. You see, Time doesn't knock on His door the way he knocks on our doors. Time just comes over for tea and chats on Sunday afternoons. God is very gracious, as always, and to be entirely honest, He governs Time. And Time is willing. God is God to Time, too, of course. Time worships and bows to God as we do. Time loves Him. That's why he doesn't go bothering by knocking so loud and continually on His door. So it really is a wonderful relationship. Thus Time knows exactly what games to pull off the shelf, though He may not know why. After all, no one knows the mind of God. We only have tiny, minuscule fractions of what Heavenly Father knows.
So in eight months I have gained on Time. Spiritually, I have played probably six or seven years of games, and I have won most of them, and learned from the ones I have lost. In any case, life is good and wonderful, because the Lord is good to His people, and gracious when we are imperfect, as we are. And yet my mind, mortal as it is, always finds it hard to fathom the greatness of the Lord's Plan.
And I will bid adieu there, for the...time being. Pun entirely intended.
Sherilyn
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